What does your heart say now?
by Niola
Summary: C&M mush. One night of flirting lead to sharing a blanket, what does his heart say now?


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What does your heart say now?

Disclaimer: Not mine… The lyrics "what does your heart say now" are from Ilse DeLange, she's a Dutch singer. Her songs are amazing, listen to it sometime.

Just a sappy songfic for all you Mondler fans out there :) Enjoy and let me know what you think.

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It was a breezy, rain splattered Saturday night and my skin felt cold. I stood on the rooftop of Ross' apartment with a rum and Coke in one hand. Ross was throwing a birthday party downstairs for some friends and I came up here because I needed some fresh air. It was pretty crowded downstairs. My conversation with Rachel ended 20 minutes ago when Ross decided to butt in and ask her if he could talk to her in private. 

I heard the door crack open and I knew in an instant that it was Chandler and grinned inwardly. He slowly draped his arms around my exposed waist from behind. I gasped slightly when his heated flesh touched my cold skin.

"You're like ice," he whispered.  
"Better warm me up then," I whispered back flirtatious.   
"Is that an invitation?" He asked mischievously, nuzzling his lips on my neck. 

Maybe it was the rum and Coke talking, but we had been flirting the whole evening. Stealing glances across the room and teasing each other like most siblings do. It was a boring party to begin with and this made it all the more exciting. 

"What are we doing Chandler?"   
"Mmmm…," came his muffled reply from my neck.  
"Chandler," I murmured.   
I felt his lips curl on the sensitive skin behind my ear, "yes honey." He started to graze his hands down my sides and my back arched into his embrace. "Chandler…," I couldn't finish my sentence his hands felt so good.   
"You asked me to warm you up a moment ago, I'm doing just that Mon."  
"You know you're doing more then that Chandler." 

He took the drink from my hand and placed it carefully on the floor. He turned to face me and placed his right hand on my waist again and his left hand entwined our fingers together. 

I felt him squeezing my hand softly, drawing me closer to his chest. "Mon will you come home with me?" He kissed my cheek lightly and I found it hard to resist him.   
"I don't know, is that a good idea?"  
He hugged me tighter and caressed my cheek, "Just come." He looked me in the eyes and smiled his lopsided smile. 

One night of flirting lead to sharing a blanket when we got back to his apartment where hands were flying everywhere attempting to trigger laughs and pulling the sheet over our heads to get so close I could feel his lips finally against mine.

I woke up with his arm draped around me and his legs tangled with mine, I never wanted to get up. And throughout the rest of the week there was lots of hip grips and brushing lips behind the backs of all our friends.

  
__

Yesterday we kept a safer distance

we walked a borderline that seems so clear

we crossed that line last night

it vanished with the morning light

now I wanna know, where do we go from here

What does your heart say know

now that we've touched, now that we've kissed

what does your heart say know

now that it's come to this

is it the same, or has something changed

  
It felt amazing being with Chandler. I never knew he could be so sweet and caring. Sneaking around with him was pretty exciting. We got home one afternoon after grocery shopping when there was a note on the counter that told me that Rachel was out with Ross. Again. Chandler had been reading behind my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me. "So. . . does that mean we're going to be alone tonight?" 

Spinning around, pinned between him and the counter, I said "Why, Mr. Bing, are you thinking amorous thoughts about me?"   
"I'm a guy. A charming, wonderful, adoring guy, but alas, a guy."   
"And that means. . ."   
"Yes. All very clean things though."   
She nodded. "Of course. Clean, organized thoughts involving. . ."   
He put his finger over my lips. "Less talking." 

He gave me little pecks with his warm, soft lips, sliding his tongue into my mouth. His heat and his taste made my legs weak, and I felt like moving my hips. His arms were tight around me, and I needed their strength. When I least expected it, Chandler picked me up, carried me over to my bedroom and bounced me onto the bed where he began unbuttoning my blouse.

He made love to me with his eyes and he kissed me with his voice, but he never spoiled it with words.  
  
  
__

Last night we said things one soul to another

in ways that spoken words could not express

no room was left for doubt

but I don't know where I stand now

don't leave me in the dark

don't make me guess

  
We've been together for almost a six months now and all our friends are very supportive of us. We came clean about three months ago when they caught us. We were lying on the couch on our sides savoring each other. My hands were under his shirt, running over his chest and he had undone the first two buttons on my blouse and was kissing my neck oh so softly. We'd been caught up in the moment when I suddenly heard someone coughing behind us. Turned out we hadn't heard the door open and there they stood our four friends with their mouths open. I buried my grinning face in Chandler's neck to cover up my exposed chest. I could feel his heated breath against my ear, my hands were still on his chest and I felt his heartbeat rise.

"Do we need to guess or are you two going to explain this?" Rachel asked with an excited tone in her voice.   
"Dude", Joey cried out proud.  
Ross looked disgusted and continued, "could you please stop touching him!" he turned around and Joey followed him towards the kitchen. When I lifted my head from Chandler's neck I saw Rachel and Phoebe beaming down on us with excitement.  
"Guys could you give us a minute." I pleaded, Chandler had yet to say a word and froze the minute he heard their voices. Rachel and Phoebe joined Ross and Joey in the kitchen with their backs to us, blocking the view for Ross and Joey. 

I looked Chandler in the eye and saw his insecurities arise. I started buttoning his shirt and when I wanted to do mine he pushed my hands away. "I'm sorry Mon." He kept his eyes focused on buttoning my blouse correctly his fingertips brushing my skin lightly.   
"Why are you sorry honey?" I was definitely confused now.  
"Because they know now and it scares me."  
I touched his cheek, just for a second. "We're not going to let them ruin what we have here Chandler, I won't let them." He turned his head slightly and rubbed his cheek against the palm of my hand. I started to move away and he caught my arm, "you're an amazing woman". I grabbed his hand and pulled him up from the couch, he stood behind me gripping my hand tightly. I gripped back firmly but gently. 

"Guys…"

They were shocked to know we had been together for three months already. Ross came to terms with it when I said. "Ross this isn't just a fling for us… it's more… it's deeper."

"How do you feel about this Chandler?" he snapped.   
"All I know is that I want to be with Monica and make her happy." He stuttered.   
"Good cause if you cause her any pain I will kick your ass."  
"Ross cut it out, we're both adults here and this is our decision."  
He was still apprehensive, but knew it was our decision, "yeah okay." 

We all hugged and when I saw Chandler looking rather nervous I walked up to him and placed a reassuring kiss on his lips, looking tenderly before whispering, "you okay?" He nodded and kissed me back with equal fervor. He stopped when he noticed our friends looking, I was surprised when he added with a smirk, "get used to this". I could only blush. 

  
__

What does your heart say know

now that we've touched, now that we've kissed

what does your heart say know

now that it's come to this

is it the same, or has something changed

  
When we woke up together one morning he was looking at me lazily. "What?" He smiled in reply and moved closer to me, a contented expression on his face. My face mirrored that look and I smiled back, putting my back to the bed again. He draped himself over me, as I murmured, asking again, "What?" I felt his fingertips brushing my cheek. I leaned into his hand, shamelessly reveling in the feel of his gentle touch. When he suddenly replied, "I-" Then blushed while looking away from me.

I notice his pulling away. Blushing? Why? It's not as if we haven't done this before. I purred a little as I cuddled up to him, but he pulled even further away. I couldn't help but be curious as he continued to study the blanket, avoiding my face as his hands toyed with the fringe of one of the pillows. He was avoiding my eyes...

"Honey please talk to me, what do you want to say?" Silence. "You can tell me everything you know that right?"  
He nodded and sat up, "I know, it's just that… I can't… I…"  
I pressed a finger over his lips to calm him, "it's okay, whenever you feel ready Chandler."  
Suddenly I heard him whisper, "Mon I… I love you". My eyes grew wide a move he obviously misinterpreted when I saw him shaking his head. I closed the gap between us and pushed him back into the mattress forcing him down with my mouth kissing him passionately on the lips. "I've been longing to hear those three words from you Chandler."  
"Does that mean you love me too?" he asked shyly.  
I smiled, "did that kiss not convince you?"  
Before he could reply my lips were on his again, my tongue ran over his closed lips seeking entry. A soft moan escaped his lips when I started nibbling on his neck. "I love you so much Chandler." In one swift motion he turned me over, pinning me down under him. He let his weight down on me. We started kissing. Short, fast, playful kisses. He was smiling the whole time and started wiggling on top of me, being playful. His kisses were now landing all over me, on my forehead, my cheeks, one on the tip of my nose. I was just lying there amazed at him. Chandler was so affectionate, I closed my eyes enjoying his love. "Mon, he suddenly said as I could feel him propping himself up on his forearms.  
"Hmmm what?"   
"I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't mean to scare you."  
"You didn't I was just curious why you were so shy all of a sudden, I mean we've been in this position before."   
"I know I just feel pressured and I've been wanting to say this now for awhile, but I feel as though when I told you I love you they expect me to take the next step and I…"  
My eyes fluttered open, "Chandler this is about us and not about us and our friends okay?"  
"Yeah."  
"Do whatever your heart tells you to do, don't let our friends interfere in our relationship. I love you and I'm not gonna pressure you into a marriage with me or anything."  
"I want to be married to you someday though have kids, grow old together."  
"Did you ever imagine saying that to some woman?"  
"No, but you're not some woman Mon, I learned all this stuff from you and how great it can be."  
"Chandler the right time will come, but for now, every second we spend together is so very special. I still can't believe how lucky I am to be loved by you."  
"No thank you for loving me the way you do." 

He tangled his hands softly in my hair and pushed his mouth down to mine again. Our lips met in a lingering kiss, we knew in our hearts that this was the love we'd both been waiting for.

***

That's it. Loved it, hated it? Too much "loving" going on? Every review is greatly appreciated! Xxx

April '04


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